


Valentine's Day

by redcandle17



Series: The Holidays [4]
Category: Mad Max Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 19:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5797294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redcandle17/pseuds/redcandle17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern American AU. Slit attempts to celebrate Valentine's Day properly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valentine's Day

Slit just happened to glance at Nux’s computer screen. What he saw left him staring in disbelief. Nux was on a florist’s website, looking at _lilies_. 

“Lilies?! Are you crazy?!”

“What’s wrong with lilies? Capable likes lilies.”

“It’s Valentine’s! You’re supposed to get her roses! Red roses!”

“But…”

“Don’t you pay attention to anything?” Slit shook his head in disgust. He couldn’t believe they’d grown up together; Nux acted like he’d been raised in a cave sometimes. “Everywhere you look - on television, on the side of buses, on the billboard ads - it’s _red roses_ , Nux! Geez.”

He thought he’d set Nux straight about the proper way to celebrate Valentine’s Day - something Slit himself had never done, though clearly he still knew more about it than Nux - but the very next day he came home to find a box of chocolates and a card with Capable’s name written on the envelope.

The envelope wasn’t sealed, so Slit opened it. The card was acceptable. It was pink and red and proclaimed how much Nux loved Capable. The box of chocolates, however, was not acceptable. It was just a regular box of chocolates. Slit opened it and began eating the chocolates. 

“What the hell?!” Nux demanded, when he came out of his room and saw Slit. “Those were for Capable!”

“You should have bought a heart-shaped box,” Slit told him. “That’s what you get for Valentine’s, not a regular square box.” 

“Oh,” Nux said. He took the box away from Slit and began eating the chocolate himself. 

But all of Slit’s help turned out to be for nothing. Capable showed up at their apartment Friday afternoon and told Nux to pack a bag. She was taking him to Disneyland for the weekend as a Valentine’s gift.

“I’ve always wanted to go,” Nux said excitedly. 

“Shouldn’t you do something more adult?” Slit asked. 

“Lots of people go to Disneyland,” Capable said defensively. “It’s not just for kids.”

As if Nux sensed Slit was about to argue the point, he said, “Shut up, Slit.”

Slit watched silently as Capable read the card and smiled and kissed Nux on the cheek. She opened the heart-shaped box and ate a single tiny chocolate. And then she and Nux were gone, off driving to Disneyland. She wouldn’t even be here when her red roses arrived on Sunday. Slit ate the rest of her chocolates and thought about how sad it was that she didn’t understand how to properly celebrate Valentine’s any better than Nux. 

He was supposed to watch movies at the girls’ house on Saturday night, but Saturday morning Slit received a text Cheedo probably hadn’t meant to include him on. It implied that Morsov had been invited too. Slit immediately texted all three girls and let them know that he was not going to be there tonight. 

All three of them texted him back, and the Dag and Toast called him, but Slit refused to speak with them. He felt betrayed. He couldn’t believe they’d tried to trick him into hanging out with Morsov. 

He texted some guys, but they all either had plans with their girlfriends or they had plans to do stuff he wasn’t supposed to do anymore. He didn’t feel like going out alone, so he ended up spending his Saturday night home alone, watching old action movies and drinking. He’d started with just beer, but after his third beer, he switched to whiskey. 

While he didn’t follow Morsov’s instagram, he sometimes looked at it just to laugh at whatever the idiot posted. Unfortunately tonight Morsov kept posting photos of himself playing with Kenneth Shadow. The cat seemed to like him and was not clawing his face off like he should have. They were even touching noses. 

“Not you too, Kenny,” Slit said mournfully. 

He was pouring himself another drink when he heard a knock at the door. He grumbled as he went to answer it, expecting it to be that annoying woman down the hall who kept trying to organize ‘community events’. 

But instead he found Toast smiling at him. “I’m here to drag you over to our house.”

One of the Dag’s texts had threatened to ‘send Toast to drag you here by the balls’, but Slit chose to focus on something of more immediate importance. “How’d you get into the building?”

“Some people were leaving when I walked up to the entrance and they held the door for me. Guess I don’t look like I’m here to rob or murder anyone.” 

Slit snorted. Sexist double standard. Nobody let him into the building when he forgot his key and he lived here. 

“I’m not going anywhere Morsov is,” he said, retreating back into his apartment. He sprawled on the couch, making it clear he wasn’t leaving.

Toast closed the door and walked into the kitchen, confusing Slit for a moment. But she came back with a glass and a bottle of Coke, and poured herself some of his whiskey. 

“Why you do hate Morsov so much? He seems like a good guy and Nux thinks he’s cool.” 

“I’ll tell you if you do shots with me.” 

She raised an eyebrow. “Challenge accepted. I was supposed to pick up food while I got you though.” 

She pulled out her phone, presumably to let the others know they’d have to get their own dinner. 

A minute later Slit’s phone buzzed. He had a text from the Dag. He chose not to read it.

Toast called for a time-out after her fourth shot. 

“Lightweight,” Slit said. 

“There’s a lot more of you than there is of me. The same amount of alcohol is going to have a stronger effect on me than on you; that’s just a scientific fact.” 

“Oh.” 

Slit got up and got her a bottle of water. 

“Thanks,” she said. She’d helped herself to a slice of his pizza. It was crappy frozen pizza. If Slit had known she was coming over, he’d have ordered real pizza. 

“So I think you owe me an answer.”

“I’m not drunk enough to talk about it.”

“One more then,” Toast said, pouring them each another shot of whiskey. 

One more was followed by another one, and somehow there was a musical playing on his television screen and Toast was singing along. Slit started howling. 

Toast began giggling. 

“Don’t laugh at my singing!” he said. He bared his teeth at her in a mock-threat. 

He thought they were going to play-wrestle when she straddled his lap, but then she kissed him. Slit had not expected this. He hadn’t even dared to hope for this. He kissed her back eagerly. 

She tugged at his t-shirt, trying to get it off, making it clear that she wanted to do more than kiss. 

But what if she only wanted to have sex with him because she was drunk? What if she regretted it tomorrow and things got all awkward between them? 

Slit reluctantly concluded that he couldn’t risk it. He peeled her off him and stood up. “We can’t.”

Toast looked confused. Then she reached for her handbag and started going through it. “I’ve got a condom.”

Slit felt woefully sober, though he knew he wasn’t really. “I didn’t mean we can’t because I don’t have a condom. I have condoms. We can’t ‘cause you’re drunk.”

“You’re drunk too,” she pointed out. She stuck the unwrapped condom between her teeth and started trying to unzip his jeans. 

Her being so aggressive was pretty exciting. The more Slit fended her off, the more he didn’t want to. But he had to. 

“You’re a lot more drunk than me. Stop. I mean it. No.”

She pouted. “You really don’t want to fuck me?”

“Not tonight.”

“Fine,” she huffed. “But I’m sleeping with you one way or another!” She threw him a triumphant look and strode into his bedroom. 

Slit followed cautiously. She was just lying on his bed, still fully clothed. He decided to let her have his bed for the night. He could sleep in Nux’s room.

However, he’d just gotten settled on Nux’s bed when the bedroom door opened and Toast came in. She laid down beside him.

Slit sighed. Short of locking her in a room alone, there was nothing he could do. He had to let her sleep with him. He got off Nux’s bed and took Toast’s arm. “C’mon.”

Fortunately it didn’t take long for her to fall asleep once they were back in his room. Unfortunately it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep either. 

There was the sound of someone bumping into something and then that someone muttered a curse. 

It took Slit a moment to remember who the other person was and why they were in his room. Toast must have gotten up to use the bathroom. “You okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” she replied. “Sorry I woke you.”

“It’s okay.”

Slit felt wide awake. He could tell by her breathing that Toast hadn’t fallen back asleep either. It was strangely intimate lying here in the dark.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Toast said. “You were very noble.” 

Nobody had ever called Slit noble before. “Just didn’t want to do anything that’d make you and the others stop being friends with me.”

“Noble,” she repeated, and he was sure she was smiling. 

He felt her move closer to him and then she was touching him.

“I’m not drunk now and I promise I’ll still be your friend in the morning.”

~

The next time Slit woke up, it was, according to the clock on his nightstand, almost noon. And it was Sunday. Valentine’s Day. He felt a rush of alarm. He had a girlfriend now. He had to celebrate Valentine’s.

What if the stores were all sold out of red roses and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate? He had to do something. Slit climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Toast. He pulled on his jeans and went out into the living room. 

He cleaned up, and while he was getting water to drink, he realized what he had to do. He began making omelets. He made good omelets, if he did say so himself. He made toast as well and cut up some fruits. He set the tiny kitchen table and surveyed it. It was missing something. 

That annoying woman in 3E grew plants with flowers in her apartment. He’d seen them when he’d had to help her rearrange her furniture - something he still hadn’t forgiven Nux for agreeing to. 

Slit forced himself not to scowl as he knocked on her door. He tried to smile, but then decided it probably looked as fake as it was. He settled for trying to look as pleasant and harmless as he could. 

But when she opened her door, the woman gaped at him like he was some kind of freak. 

Slit belatedly realized he’d forgotten to put on a shirt and that he was covered in hickeys. He quickly tried to spin this to his advantage. 

“Can I buy some of your flowers? I’m making breakfast for my girlfriend and I need flowers for the table.”

She let out an awful moan that Slit realized was actually a cooing sound. “That’s so romantic!” she squealed. But she still made him agree to attend some stupid bowling event before she’d give him a handful of small purple flowers. 

He heard the shower running when he got back to his apartment and he hurried to fill a glass with water and put the flowers in it. He put his makeshift vase on the table and rearranged everything just right. 

“You stole this from a hotel, didn’t you?” Toast was saying as she approached the kitchen. The bathrobe she was wearing looked ridiculously huge on her. 

“Yeah,” Slit admitted. Neither he nor Nux used bathrobes, but he’d taken it from the motel just because. “The towels too.”

“Slit, this is so sweet!” She was smiling up at him, and Slit leaned down so she could kiss him. 

“I confess I’m surprised you can cook.”

“This is the only thing I can make,” he admitted. 

“And these are real flowers!” Her smile grew even brighter as she touched the flowers, and she insisted on getting her phone and taking a photo before they ate.

“I’m in no hurry to put on back last night’s clothes and take my walk of shame,” Toast said. “Want to spend the day on the couch, binge-watching some show on Netflix?”

“But it’s Valentine’s Day,” Slit reminded her. 

She smiled suggestively. “Spending the day in bed sounds good too.”

“I have to find a restaurant,” Slit told her. You could always eat at any restaurant at any time if you were willing to sit at the bar, but that wasn’t a proper romantic date.

Toast took his phone away from him, putting an end to Slit’s frantic attempt to find a restaurant that didn’t require reservations. 

“Why do you have to find a restaurant?”

“To take you to dinner.”

“We can order takeout.”

“But it’s Valentine’s Day,” Slit repeated. 

Toast looked confused, then she began laughing. She gave his phone back to him and kissed his cheek. “How about I take you to a nice restaurant tomorrow night? You can get all dressed up and I’ll pick you up and show you off to the world.”

“I just want to celebrate Valentine’s properly for you,” he told her. 

She hugged him. “And I appreciate that, Slit. Tell you what: since you made brunch, I’ll make dinner.”

“Not much here to make dinner with,” Slit confessed. 

“So we’ll go grocery shopping. We can pick up a bottle of champagne too.”

He’d have to buy fancy glasses for the champagne. And candles. And a tablecloth. 

“It’ll be fun,” Toast said. 

Going to the supermarket wasn’t a very romantic way to spend Valentine’s Day. On the other hand, Slit realized, what could be more couple-ish than shopping for groceries together like it was no big deal? It was very adult and mature too. Not bad for his first Valentine’s.


End file.
